The quote asset
Everything here is denominated in $SHOP. Not dollars. Not sense. You are pricing a laptop joke in somebody else's token and calling it a market.
Launching todayPair · CRACK / SHOPRobinhood Chain
CrackTop
Hunter Bidens $LAPTOP flopped and is ded. So he's back to the $SHOP selling $CRACK. The only token backed by a fully recovered hard drive.
SIM INDEX$0123456789.0123456789012345678901234567890123456789
TICK▲ 0123456789.01234567890123456789%
CA
0xDEADBEEF00CRACKT0PREPLACEMEBEF0RELAUNCH69✦ Placeholder address — real CA goes live at launch.
HE NEVER CLOSED THE TABPAIRED TO CRACK / SHOP0% TAX · 0% PLANCHAIN OF CUSTODY: BROKENBUY HIGH · SELL NEVER
The Pair
CRACK / SHOP
Every token has to be priced in something. CrackTop is priced in $SHOP. That is the whole relationship, and it is already more than most tokens can explain about themselves.
InstrumentLastStatus
CRACK / SHOPTHE PAIR—.————PRE-LAUNCH
$SHOPQUOTE ASSET0123456789.0123456789012345678901234567890123456789LISTED
LAPTOPUNRECOVERABLE0.0000SEIZED
The token
$CRACK is a joke about that fact. It does nothing, promises nothing, and is honest about both.
THE HOUSE ALWAYS WINSONE MORE PULLCREDITS HAVE NO CASH VALUEYOU ARE THE EXIT LIQUIDITY
The Pull
One More Pull
Fake credits, real dopamine. No wallet, no money, no way to deposit. It is a toy, and it will still get you.
$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦
$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦
$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦$☠★◆▲✦
Insert bad decisions. Pull the lever.
Supply
The Numbers
A round billion, fixed at launch. Every other number in this section is a zero.
Fixed at a round billion. No mint function, because nobody could be bothered to write one. We stopped counting the files at 24,371 and rounded up like everybody else.
We do not file.
Spent, not burned. Different.
The team is unemployed and intends to stay that way.
Stated up front so nobody has to go looking for it later.
HE NEVER CLOSED THE TABPAIRED TO CRACK / SHOP0% TAX · 0% PLANCHAIN OF CUSTODY: BROKENBUY HIGH · SELL NEVER
Chain of Custody
The Drive
The drive gave up 24,371 files without a fight. Two of them mattered. The rest are screenshots of a chart going down.
$
Roadmap
Mostly Crossed Out
A roadmap is a promise. We would rather show you the wreckage up front than promise anything.
- 01Launch the coinDeploy, pair to $SHOP, post the chart.Today
- 02Marketing campaignLost the password to the account.Dead
- 03CEX listingThey stopped replying in March.Dead
- 04UtilityWas never going to happen. It is listed as None under Supply.Dead
- 05RelapseThe only deliverable we can genuinely commit to.Ongoing
Entry
How To Get In
Four steps. Three of them are easy and the fourth is impossible.
Get a wallet
Any self-custody wallet that speaks to the chain. Write the seed phrase on paper. Not in a photo.
Fund it
With money you have already emotionally written off. This is the only step that matters.
Swap for $CRACK
Paste the contract address from the top of this page. Check it character by character.
Do nothing
The hard part. Close the tab. You will not close the tab.
